Stuck
by GeekyGirlMeow
Summary: "I had forgotten when I made that wish. I had forgotten that I don't make friends easily. I had forgotten that I can't approach people. I had forgotten that I was- and still am- shy. I had forgotten I was me. And now I was stuck." Based off of a 'Will you press the button'. Please enjoy. Warning; mentions bullying and some darker subjects, including a little bit of madness.


I sighed as I watched a couple of Shadowhunters kill a demon. I slipped into the shadows before they noticed me, and waited until they left to emerge. I glanced at the rune on my hand and gazed at it sadly, holding back tears. I had never been accepted in the world of Shadowhunters. I never had been and never would be.

I was still somewhat 'in the know'. I knew that Valentine had returned and that Clary and her boyfriend Jace had killed him, but now they had to worry about Valentine's son.

It was a complicated mess, but I lived for those. My life was one.

I closed my eyes and thought back to what I had wished for, so long ago. _I want to live in a fantasy world, somewhere far out of reach of these people and high above them while being a part of them at the same time._

_**If this wish is granted, you will be alone. No one will come to find you by their own means. You must find them.**_

_I don't care. I want to leave._

_**If that is truly what you wish, let you be born again.**_

And so I was. I sighed. The angel had disappeared after that dream, and even 17 years later, there was no sign of him. Sometimes, when I stared at the moon, I could swear I would see him in the white craters. But a blink of the eye and he was gone, along with my hope.

I had cursed myself a thousand times over. I had become one of the most powerful Shadowhunters of my day. But who else knew? No one. I didn't have to eat, it seemed, for I hadn't eaten since I left my second birthplace. My mother threw me out when I was 13.

I had forgotten when I made that wish.

I had forgotten that I don't make friends easily.

I had forgotten that I can't approach people.

I had forgotten that I was- and still am- shy.

I had forgotten I was me.

And now I was stuck.

Stuck in a fantasy world I loved but despised all the same. Stuck without one person to remember me. Stuck without a single friend. I was stuck by myself, and that's what's made me crazy.

I created different personas to talk to, creating characters and voices and backstories in order to forget my own unfortunate fate.

I sighed and pulled out a seraph blade, looking for demons. I was tired of doing nothing. Besides, I had always thought that maybe stabbing someone like there was no tomorrow sounded like fun.

Huh. Maybe the loneliness hadn't made me crazy. Maybe I just was.

I smirked at myself and ran into an alley, finding a demon quickly. I approached and it turned, baring its teeth at me. I bared my teeth back, letting my fighting instincts take over. I rolled and slashed and dodged. I stabbed for the millionth time and it hissed at me before disappearing. I closed my eyes, letting out a long breath before sheathing my seraph blade.

"Who are you?" I heard, and turned to see a girl with curly red hair looking right at me. My eyes widened. I hadn't talked to an actual person in over five years. My mother and I had never gotten along, so I stopped talking to her a year and a half before she kicked me out. It was one of the reasons why she did.

I stood, frozen. "Well? Speak up!" Another voice said. My eyes glanced to see a boy with golden hair next to her. I recognized them. Clary and Jace.

They found me.

I looked to the moon, seeing my angel floating towards me. I knew what was happening. I wasn't supposed to let anyone find me, I had to find them. But these two had broken the contract, and now the angel was going to send me back. My eyes teared up.

"No.." I whispered, and took off at a run. I knew the angel would catch me no matter what, but if I could outrun these two, maybe I could continue here.

I didn't want to go back.

I wouldn't go back.

I couldn't go back.

Voices and people screamed at me. I knew they were hallucinations, but I couldn't make myself believe they were any less real anyways.

_You're such a whore!_

_Why'd you do this to me?_

_I thought we were friends!_

_Betrayer!_

_Ugly!_

_Stupid!_

_Slut!_

_Cheater!_

_I HATE YOU!_

I shook my head and kept running, urging my legs faster. Maybe I could outrun the memories. Maybe I could make a new start. Maybe the other world was just a dream, if only the other world was just a dream, please let the other world be just a dream!

I hit a fence and stopped, tears running freely. I fell to my knees. I turned my head and saw my angel, coming to get me. Tears streamed faster.

"Please. Please, no... I don't wanna go back, I don't wanna go there, please don't make me! It's not my fault, I'm innocent! Don't make me leave! I don't wanna go back!" I started at a whisper and rose to a scream, a desperate plea for this life. It may be lonely but anything was better than the other world.

_**You broke the contract.**_

"It's not my fault! I didn't want them to find me!"

_**You have to go back.**_

"No! No, please, please, I'd rather die than go there!"

_**You must go back. There is no other option.**_

"If you're going to take me back..." I said, wiping tears and standing shakily. "Then kill me first."

_**Kill you?**_

"Kill me." I confirmed. "I'd prefer it over that world."

_**But you have friends.**_

"Not anymore." I admitted. "One thought I was dating her boyfriend and convinced the whole school. It follows me wherever I go, except here." I looked to my angel with teary eyes. "That reality is no more real to me than fairies were in the other world. So if I have to go back, kill me."

_**You hate the real world that much?**_

"That place is not real." I insisted, trying to convince myself as much as I was trying to convince my angel. "That place is a nightmare created by my twisted imagination. It's not real."

_**Not real?**_

"Not real." I repated.

_**I will discuss this with the elders.**_

My angel left me and I slid down the fence again, taking in deep breaths to calm myself. I almost lost this life. My eyes opened and I looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps. Clary and Jace had managed to follow me. I stared at them in silence until Clary spoke up.

"So... Who are you again?"

I smiled.

"Call me Stuck."


End file.
